AHHHHHHHHHH Why so serious

I keep discovering odd websites lately, and the newest one is class!!!!!!

Fuck my sex life (FMSL)

Today my boyfriend and I decided to try some anal sex. When he was done, I turned around only to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said “do me”. FMSL

WHAT, IT’S OKAY FOR HIM TO DO ALL THE WORK. LAZY COW

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to cum, he yelled “Yes Kelly!” really loud. My name’s not Kelly, that’s his sister’s name. FMSL

SUPRISE INCEST… ALWAYS A WINNER.

Today, my dad gave me a promise ring for my one year anniversary with my boyfriend and made me swear I would wait to have sex until I’m married. Four hours later he walked in on us having sex in my room. FMSL

SEE THATS YOUR FAULT FOR NOT LOCKING THE FUCKING DOOR. AND HAVING SEX IN YOUR PARENTS HOUSE.

My boyfriend loves to have sex with me while I’m sleeping. I usually don’t wake up or if I am it’s very dark in the room. Well this time he was fucking me in my sleep, it was extra good so I woke up and turned the nightstand lamp on. I looked back at him and he was wearing a red cape. FMSL

I APROVE OF CAPE WEARING DURING SEX… ALSO APPOVE OF HIM HITTING YOU FROM BEHIND. I’D MARRY THE GUY IF I WERE YOU.

My boyfriend and I were having sex. After about 5 minutes, we change positions and he says: “Power Rangers – Transform!” FMSL

SWEET. CAN I HAVE HIS NUMBER????

I was joking about having a threesome with my boyfriend and another guy. He was totally down, so we tried. I ended up watching them the entire night. FMSL

I DON’T SEE WHAT THE PROBLEM IS… YOU GET FREE PORN. PERFECT RELATIONSHIP I’D SAY.

My girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FMSL

SPOCK WOULD GIVE AWESOME HEAD I DO HAVE TO SAY.

This cute girl was licking my balls and jerking me off at the same time. The sensation was so intense that when I came, I accidentally shot myself in the face. The girl told all her friends that I gave myself a facial. FMSL

SMOOTH SKIN AND PERFECT AIM… I’D SAY THAT WAS A BONUS AND THAT THE GIRLS JUST JEALOUS.

My boyfriend always wants me to lick his ass while he jerks off. FMSL

I DON’T SEE WHAT YOUR COMPLAINING ABOUT… BASICALLY YOU’RE JUST SHOWING OFF.

My much younger brother has a bigger dick than me. FMSL

GET USED TO IT. DEAN WINCHESTER HAD TO

I’m not sure what to think about it, but recently my penis has taken a strong liking to shemale porn.

ACCEPT THAT YOUR DICK HAS VERSATILITY

I was having sex with my girlfriend (I was on top), and it was going great (for me) until I noticed her watching the television. FMSL

IT WAS A GOOD EPISODE OF SUPERNATURAL. I’M NOT SORRY

So last night I started fooling around with this one guy I’ve liked for a while now. Tings were getting really hot until he said, “Oh, Mariah.” Mariah is my twin sister. FMSL

IT’S AN EASY MISTAKE TO MAKE!!!!!!!!!

Me and my boyfriend were having sex and it was getting really hot and rough and the way he had his face against mine, I literally got rug burn from his beard. FMSL

WEAR IT WITH PRIDE MY FRIEND.

My ex and I decided to try to have anal sex. He finally got it in without me saying that it hurt. I was finally getting into it when he looks down and says, “There’s poop.” We broke up a week afterward. FMSL

WHERE DID HE THINK HE WAS STICKING HIS DICK!!!!!! JESUS, MEN.

Every time I get close to hooking up with a girl, one of my friends inevitably ends up cock-blocking me. FMSL

GET NEW FRIENDS.

I’m such a chemistry nerd that, when I was going doggy-style with a girl the other night, all I could think of was “backside attack” molecular reactions. FMSL

KINKY

When I have sex with my girlfriend its like throwing a hotdog down a hallway. FMSL

LAUGHING TO HARD TO COMMENT!!!!!!!!!

MAN I’M WEIRD!!!!!! AND BORED APPARENTLY.

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